What is Bullying?

Bullying is something we hear much about and is also a word that can get overused during times of disagreement between peers. So, what is bullying?

It's more than just a fight or disliking someone.

It’s being mean to someone over and over again…..not just a one off incident of a disagreement between children.

Bullying is an ongoing or repeated misuse of power in relationships, with the intention to cause deliberate (on purpose) psychological harm. Bullying behaviours can be verbal, physical or social.

Bullying can happen anywhere – at home, online, with friends, in a group, on the bus or at school.

Here at school we explicitly teach the children how to greet, treat and speak to others appropriately. We talk about how words matter. We discuss with the children that sometimes we do say the wrong thing; sometimes we do get angry at someone else; sometimes we may not include others in our games ….. and then we talk about how to forgive and say sorry; how to mend friendships; how to be a better friend. We all make mistakes and we learn from those mistakes. Are these incidences of bullying? Usually no, they are stand alone incidents. However, when a pattern or repeated behaviour occurs, then we have a different situation.

Cyber Bullying – the new way to bully.

I have had a number of parents in Years 4-6 contact me in regard to inappropriate online behaviours.  Children are engaging in online games and social media, which are, in many cases, a positive experience, especially as restriction have sometimes distanced us from friends and family.  However, we are also seeing an increased number of arguments or disagreements arise, leading to inappropriate comments being made in the online environment.  Parents often ask the school to intervene in behaviours that are occurring when children are at home.  All social media sites have recommended ages, yet these are ignored so children do not miss out when “everyone else” is online.  Let me assure everyone else is NOT online.  If you believe your child does have the maturity to use social media, you should still supervise their behaviour by ensuring they use their device in a public space NOT their bedroom and that they allow you to access their accounts.  Additionally, we have an increasing number of parents who are worried about children that access their devices overnight, resulting in extreme tiredness at school, as they wake up every hour or two to check for messages. 

One strategy that school psychologists recommend is that at 8:30pm all devices – phones, iPad and laptops are put on charge in a public area e.g the kitchen, and there they stay till 7am the next day. This prevents children from accessing social media through out the night and being subject to issues that you as their parents would rather, they not be. It also ensures that the children get a good night’s sleep ready to learn at school the following day. Psychologists also state that use of this social media is highly addictive just like chocolate or alcohol for adults. The more they are on social media, they more they crave the immediate response and “Likes” to their posts. If when you remove the phone, iPad or laptop for re-charging overnight, and your child reacts in a very negative, angry way, then you have uncovered and identified their addiction to social media and gaming. Withdrawal will work and it will be rocky, but it is so worth it to build resilience and empathy in your beautiful children once more.

Please refer to https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents  for excellent advice on keeping your child safe online.